Quick story: I remember back in around 2003 or so, on eBay Stan Lee was selling his “favorite” BMW or Mercedes. Anyone remember what type of car it was? I forget the make of the vehicle. I think Lee had bought the car around the time Jack died, and Lee had a fleet of other cars, but the description claimed this was his “favorite.” And there was this big picture of Stan standing next to his “favorite” car with a big grin on his face standing next to one of his manshions. Boy, I wish I still had that photo and I wish I had copied the whole desecration (that was a funny typo, I meant “description”) it was truly surreal. Anyway, to make a long story short, in the description for the car, Stan offered to SIGN THE CAR! That’s right, if you paid, I dunno 100 grand or whatever for Stan Lee’s “favorite” used car, he would autograph it for you, on one of the seats. I think he might have been willing to sign the body of the car too. The hood or the trunk. I forget. I know he said he would autograph the seats.
I figured that had to be a joke. That couldn’t be real, right? Could Stan Lee possibly be that out of touch with reality? I mean, I could see maybe some imbecile wanting Jay Z to sign one of his used hoopties, but in the early 2000s could Stan have possibly thought someone on planet Earth would be such a super Stan Lee fan that he/she would want to own one of his old cars — AUTOGRAPHED? And my God, think of the greed. The guy had tens of millions of dollars. But he had to have that extra 10 bucks for adding his signature to the back seat.
I figured it had to be a scam, so I contacted the seller. But… it was true, Stan Lee was offering one of his old cars for sale on eBay and he really thought offering to sign it would help increase its value. And maybe it did. My point: the guy is your archetypal used car salesman. You can’t make a character like Stan Lee up.
So you think I’m “childish and petty” for reporting on the news — what Stan Lee is up to — well, I think that Stan Lee is childish and petty. Imagine the ego on a guy who would think anyone would want him to autograph one of his used cars. Amazing…
But sure, I’m childish when I compose satire. That’s what a lot of comedy is. It’s looking at the world through the eyes of a child and picking it apart to reveal its simplicity and absurdity. Is goofing on Lee petty? The guy is selling Stan Lee cologne, and I’m petty?
Cologne is snake oil!
Part 3 tomorrow.